Finaly I reached my highest weight ever a nice round number -130 kilo.
When I finished basic training in the army I was 78 Kilo which spreaded themselves nicly on 184 cm. 12 years passed and I am 52 kilo heavier - good god.
Now 52 kilo is just a number of kilos but it can be more realistic by examples:
Imagine I am carrying something like 34 bottles of 1.5 liter of Coke or assuming a loaf of bread is something like a quarter of a kilo - I am taking with me for no real reason 70 or so loaves. For the lucky ones among you that had the pleasure working in construction I need not tell that a sack of cement is 50 kilo.
50 kilo is also 151 cans of Coke or something like 500 schnitzels and last but not least imagine I am carrying Eva Longoria on my shoulders - I know it can sound pretty good but I think you may agree that 24/7 for years is a bit too much.
I can feel my knees complaining and hope I have enough gristle to last my life time.
I have informed my friends that starting Sunday it is the real thing , of course the real thing that matters is what I will eat for my less than a 100 party. apart from sex and sleep every fun activity is food related if I go to the movies I have to buy the biggest popcorn and at Independence Day why not finish a whole Chicken coop and 50 Pita bread. I know things are really bad when I find my self buying a bag of peanuts and eat them while riding my scooter , like an addict I put them one at a time through my helmet and use my tongue to lead it to my mouth.
Once I told a girl from my work what does it mean to really eat a lot - at work it is very easy especially on Tuesday when they bring cakes and croissant filled with chocolate a day of big eating usually starts with diet intentions so I go to the coffee corner and look with despise on the big basket of cakes and tell my self that I don't want to eat a big croissant filled with chocolate and take a small bun with egg salad or tuna and this happens at around 8 in the morning I can hold on until 8:20 and then I find my self in the same coffee corner trying to convince my self that you don't start a diet on Tuesday and then with a new voice telling me to live life to the fullest I grab a chocolate croissant wrap it in paper so no one can see and a cup of coke and sneak back to my room. It is 10:00 and I find myself in the coffee corner again and I casually eat another croissant and if god forbid they are all out I will search the entire building until I find one because I ate only two hours a go and and there is a whole hour until lunch time. It is 12:00 and time to lunch, I take a huge schnitzel an my own sweet perversion - I put on the plate Spaghetti with bolognas and on top a mountain of French fries - the plate alone has something like 5000 calories but it isn't enough because I mix the fries with the Spaghetti so what will happen to the schnitzel? no problem I have the answer - in a small plate I put coleslaw salad or any other mayonnaise salad and eat the schnitzel with the salad and clear room for a proper mix of spaghetti and fries.
If there is a cake I like for desert I will have it also usually it means a nice hot chocolate cake with warm chocolate sauce. 17:00 - I am starving and I eat to toasts with a lot of cheese. Finally I finish work and I come home and dinner can be just like lunch it can be a mountain of schnitzels or chicken with tomato sauce with rice it doesn't really matter what just that it will be a lot and for desert I have a mountain of ice cream - and this is all in an ordinary day.
My target was set a long time ago when my mother in law bought my brother in law a Levis overall that was too big for him ( the bastard ) it's been lying for almost a decade in the closet, I think maybe I should set a more realistic goal like passing a day without feeling I ate two horses.I admit I like the feeling of fullness in the belly when I go to sleep at night but then I have to wake once or twice a night to go to the toilet - I need to set my priorities strait.
In my opinion global warming has nothing to do with the hole in the Ozone layer my theory is that because the number of fat people keeps increasing the temperature keeps getting higher and I can prove it: when I took a course in Bio climatology in the university (how temperature and humidity and so on effects raising live stock) they told us that an average adult spends something like 1000 calories just to keep it's body heat or just to keep it alive or the heart beating or what ever - it doesn't really matter but it is a fact that the body burns something like a 1000 calories doing nothing now consider some one like me that eats like there is no tomorrow and imagine how much heat I produce and double it with the number of over weigh people around the world and you will see why the Icebergs are no more.
This should be my strategy : to think that each bite gets the Big Ben closer to water maybe some global awareness will help me loose 50 kilo.
I am not saying there aren't any advantages to being fat you can eat as much as you like when ever you like and where ever you like and - there is nothing like eating 750 gram of steak and knowing you can eat more.
another thing is the people act around you - first of all if you are fat you better have the ability to make fun at yourself because like it or not you become the subject of many jokes - like the time we went to play soccer and every one thought I should be the goal keeper because I already block half the goal without even moving or when we went carting and they said there is no way I will flip over because the kart wouldn't go so fast - I think you must have a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself if not you better not be fat of big and scary that way no one will bother you. I swear that someone actually told me that he thinks fat parents are better parents because they look more loving - what an idiot.
another advantage is that I can talk to women about anything and act the as cool as can be because I know there is no way something will happen between us.
But on the other hand - when we went to the kart track it took me a long time t find one that could fit me and taking a bath with my wife became impossible but I could handle all that if it wasn't for the feeling of exhaustion all the time some times I just want to shout " Eva et of my bloody shoulders" I am sick of walking a hundred meters and feeling like I run a thousand and I am sick of using half a bottle of sunscreen lotion every time we go to the beach.
Clothes are also a problem when I go to do reserve duty in the army it is always hard to find ones that fit me - next time I will just get a tent and make a pair of pants out of it, my closet is full of clothes that I can not wear any more.
I always thought of my dad as fat and that I will never be like him in that manner but I passed his weight a long time ago. his clothes don't come close to fit me - took a coat that he had and managed to close the zipper but I had to took it off when I couldn't feel my fingertips any more.
I don't have enough room in a car I don't have room on a bus and in a plane I can't sleep anymore because of no room. When I flew to south America 45 kilo ago I slept like a dead man for 8 hours but now a much shorter flight to England I felt like I am going to faint for lack of air - I feel like each kilo extra is one year less that I have.
When I finished basic training in the army I was 78 Kilo which spreaded themselves nicly on 184 cm. 12 years passed and I am 52 kilo heavier - good god.
Now 52 kilo is just a number of kilos but it can be more realistic by examples:
Imagine I am carrying something like 34 bottles of 1.5 liter of Coke or assuming a loaf of bread is something like a quarter of a kilo - I am taking with me for no real reason 70 or so loaves. For the lucky ones among you that had the pleasure working in construction I need not tell that a sack of cement is 50 kilo.
50 kilo is also 151 cans of Coke or something like 500 schnitzels and last but not least imagine I am carrying Eva Longoria on my shoulders - I know it can sound pretty good but I think you may agree that 24/7 for years is a bit too much.
I can feel my knees complaining and hope I have enough gristle to last my life time.
I have informed my friends that starting Sunday it is the real thing , of course the real thing that matters is what I will eat for my less than a 100 party. apart from sex and sleep every fun activity is food related if I go to the movies I have to buy the biggest popcorn and at Independence Day why not finish a whole Chicken coop and 50 Pita bread. I know things are really bad when I find my self buying a bag of peanuts and eat them while riding my scooter , like an addict I put them one at a time through my helmet and use my tongue to lead it to my mouth.
Once I told a girl from my work what does it mean to really eat a lot - at work it is very easy especially on Tuesday when they bring cakes and croissant filled with chocolate a day of big eating usually starts with diet intentions so I go to the coffee corner and look with despise on the big basket of cakes and tell my self that I don't want to eat a big croissant filled with chocolate and take a small bun with egg salad or tuna and this happens at around 8 in the morning I can hold on until 8:20 and then I find my self in the same coffee corner trying to convince my self that you don't start a diet on Tuesday and then with a new voice telling me to live life to the fullest I grab a chocolate croissant wrap it in paper so no one can see and a cup of coke and sneak back to my room. It is 10:00 and I find myself in the coffee corner again and I casually eat another croissant and if god forbid they are all out I will search the entire building until I find one because I ate only two hours a go and and there is a whole hour until lunch time. It is 12:00 and time to lunch, I take a huge schnitzel an my own sweet perversion - I put on the plate Spaghetti with bolognas and on top a mountain of French fries - the plate alone has something like 5000 calories but it isn't enough because I mix the fries with the Spaghetti so what will happen to the schnitzel? no problem I have the answer - in a small plate I put coleslaw salad or any other mayonnaise salad and eat the schnitzel with the salad and clear room for a proper mix of spaghetti and fries.
If there is a cake I like for desert I will have it also usually it means a nice hot chocolate cake with warm chocolate sauce. 17:00 - I am starving and I eat to toasts with a lot of cheese. Finally I finish work and I come home and dinner can be just like lunch it can be a mountain of schnitzels or chicken with tomato sauce with rice it doesn't really matter what just that it will be a lot and for desert I have a mountain of ice cream - and this is all in an ordinary day.
My target was set a long time ago when my mother in law bought my brother in law a Levis overall that was too big for him ( the bastard ) it's been lying for almost a decade in the closet, I think maybe I should set a more realistic goal like passing a day without feeling I ate two horses.I admit I like the feeling of fullness in the belly when I go to sleep at night but then I have to wake once or twice a night to go to the toilet - I need to set my priorities strait.
In my opinion global warming has nothing to do with the hole in the Ozone layer my theory is that because the number of fat people keeps increasing the temperature keeps getting higher and I can prove it: when I took a course in Bio climatology in the university (how temperature and humidity and so on effects raising live stock) they told us that an average adult spends something like 1000 calories just to keep it's body heat or just to keep it alive or the heart beating or what ever - it doesn't really matter but it is a fact that the body burns something like a 1000 calories doing nothing now consider some one like me that eats like there is no tomorrow and imagine how much heat I produce and double it with the number of over weigh people around the world and you will see why the Icebergs are no more.
This should be my strategy : to think that each bite gets the Big Ben closer to water maybe some global awareness will help me loose 50 kilo.
I am not saying there aren't any advantages to being fat you can eat as much as you like when ever you like and where ever you like and - there is nothing like eating 750 gram of steak and knowing you can eat more.
another thing is the people act around you - first of all if you are fat you better have the ability to make fun at yourself because like it or not you become the subject of many jokes - like the time we went to play soccer and every one thought I should be the goal keeper because I already block half the goal without even moving or when we went carting and they said there is no way I will flip over because the kart wouldn't go so fast - I think you must have a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at yourself if not you better not be fat of big and scary that way no one will bother you. I swear that someone actually told me that he thinks fat parents are better parents because they look more loving - what an idiot.
another advantage is that I can talk to women about anything and act the as cool as can be because I know there is no way something will happen between us.
But on the other hand - when we went to the kart track it took me a long time t find one that could fit me and taking a bath with my wife became impossible but I could handle all that if it wasn't for the feeling of exhaustion all the time some times I just want to shout " Eva et of my bloody shoulders" I am sick of walking a hundred meters and feeling like I run a thousand and I am sick of using half a bottle of sunscreen lotion every time we go to the beach.
Clothes are also a problem when I go to do reserve duty in the army it is always hard to find ones that fit me - next time I will just get a tent and make a pair of pants out of it, my closet is full of clothes that I can not wear any more.
I always thought of my dad as fat and that I will never be like him in that manner but I passed his weight a long time ago. his clothes don't come close to fit me - took a coat that he had and managed to close the zipper but I had to took it off when I couldn't feel my fingertips any more.
I don't have enough room in a car I don't have room on a bus and in a plane I can't sleep anymore because of no room. When I flew to south America 45 kilo ago I slept like a dead man for 8 hours but now a much shorter flight to England I felt like I am going to faint for lack of air - I feel like each kilo extra is one year less that I have.
